distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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