youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Nobody cheats on THIS.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
