You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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