You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
