I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
