Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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