Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
