Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize