Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
