No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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