Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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