Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
