New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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