My first STD was from a foam party
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
