A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
