I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
