So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
