So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
