We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
