I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
