next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
