So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
