Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
