You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
