i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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