You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Who died my cat blue again?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
