Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
All I want is dick and wine.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
