well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I need to calm my uterus...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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