she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
