he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
