that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
