is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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