New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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