you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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