i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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