I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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