i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
