I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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