I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
