i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
