Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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