We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
