Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
