I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
