: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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