Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
