My sheets look like a crime scene.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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