No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
