I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
