when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
