Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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