Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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