I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
