Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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