dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
