bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
