I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
