He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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