At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Redeem this text for a blowjob
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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