God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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