I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
